If you try to be everything that people want you to be; you will crash and burn! Sorry to say even Red Bull cannot give it's wings and save the youth pastor. Dig deeper into this issue and you will see this is the point where many youth pastors walk out the door, never to return to the ministry. How does the youth pastor prevent this?
First thing is to recognize it is impossible to be everything people want you to be!
Early in youth ministry I tried this. I wanted to be the cool youth pastor that played paintball, went to their sports games and stayed up all night playing Call of Duty with my teens. I also wanted to be there for my parents and partner with everything in helping their teens. Then I also had all my leaders in youth ministry, leadership of the church, my partners and my critics; all looking for something as well. At the end of the day; I felt like I needed to clone myself to meet every need, check off every detail and one clone just to sleep for me. In the end, I recognized there is just not enough time in the day for everything people want you to do and be.
Second thing is to recognize that you don't have to do everything people want you to be!
In ministry, everyone thinks they know what you should be doing and sorry to say it, many times it has nothing to with why the church has called you there. I have coined something that I share with my teens to help them; "play by house rules." Curfew, school, jobs, etc. the system you are under has rules and while you are under that system you need to play by house rules. A youth pastor needs to play by the house rules of his leadership. Whoever that might be; the senior pastor, a family pastor, etc. If you disagree with your leadership and don't want to do what they ask; then it's time for you to leave the house and resign. Play by house rules. If you're following house rules, working within your job description; then everything else has been determined and will be easier to filter.
Third thing is to recognize that you need to be the person God has wired you to be!
Hopefully this was one of the reasons the church brought you on board. God has wired you in a way to reach people with the Gospel, in a way to minister to specific people (youth and their families), in a way to meet the purpose He has for you! The Bible talks a lot about doing things that please God rather than man:
Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."
I Thessalonians 2:4 "On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts."
Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters"
2 Corinthians 5:9 "So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it."
To be honest there are a lot more verse than these and even if we were to digest the verses around the above verses...we would see that we need to please God than man. I picked these 4 verses because they came from the same author; Paul! When I read about Paul, he is always busy in ministry! I think that he had to learn this lesson many times in the ministry and why many times he talks about doing things for God and not man. From Scripture, we see that God wired Paul to reach the Gentiles, to plant churches, to bridge unity among Jews and Gentiles or the church in general, to call out false teaching and to spread God's message and love! If Paul listened to all the people, I don't think Paul would have come close to doing the things God intended for him. There is just not enough time in the day to do what God wants and what many people want us to do.
The Wrap:
Be who God has wired you to be! Reach who He has wired you to reach! Lead as He has wired you to lead! Filter down what you should be doing by what God or the leadership of your church wants!
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