What COULD be harmful as we parent/coach young kids in sports

Reading some great things this morning from Caz McCaslin book and got into a blogging mindset! 

The pressures that we as parents/coaches can put on our kids as we plan out their futures...We pick a sport and we drive it at an early age; many times a kid will only play that specific sport and year around. I, mean, we have to, right? They will fall behind, they won't make a team later, how will they get into college? So we play our fall, summer, spring and in-between leagues. Within this, many things COULD happen:

1. Playing at a young level, a player could be put into one position and never learn another area of the sport. For example: I got this tall kid on my basketball team, he is going to be my star center! I will coach him in pivots, posting, layups, etc. The problem is that when this kid gets to high school and never grew as anticipated, his friends bypass him height and there is no place for a 6 foot center! Could it get worse? Yes, we didn't focus on teaching him to dribble as much as we should have, so that he could compete for another position if needed down the road...

2. Playing one sport over a long period of time could cause major injuries. In my reading, there was a sports-medicine doctor who shared that over 75% of his young patients he was treating had injuries credited to overuse! Think of that little league pitcher who has a hard throwing arm. If he or she is continued to be used to the max in a league, then the next league, then each year, and so on; that arm will break down overtime if it is overused and abused. Point one and two frustrates me; I am thankful for the coach who transitions their players to play multiple positions. It is not about the win or the championship; it is about setting up the kid for success in life and sports. 

3. The parent who is thinking long-term results for their kids can cause more harm than good. Sure we want our kids to succeed, but if they can just get that scholarship, we have succeeded as parents…Maybe this causes us as parents to reach for the unseen future. League after league; the best sports gear money can buy, willing to travel out of state, and so on. Statistics are against us! When looking at boys and girls basketball, only 3% of HS athletes make a team in college. Just because you make the team, does not mean you are playing college basketball; that bench can sometimes be long. Women’s soccer transition about 5% HS athletes into college and football 6% into collegic football. If we are more of a longer-term parent, my kid is going to play professional ball. Then the statistics are really against us; only a little over 1% of college basketball players make it to the NBA, under 1% of college football and women soccer athletes make it to a professional level. As parents we need to think long-term but perhaps on how we can spend time making life memories, how to produce character and skills in them, how to let them know if they decide not to play college ball that we still love them.

4. My kid will fall behind so I need to start them now. This in itself could create family issues in the home. You treat your kid like a mini professional player or they feel like the game was fun, but now it is more like a job. Many kids lose the love of a sport because they are pressured to succeed from all directions including those who love them the most. I think there is value in learning off of others. As I was reading today of three major professional football players, I was reminded that Nathaniel does not need to start playing flag football at age 5 so he can be in the NFL by age 25…

The first two are quarterbacks that you know, they have two rings a piece, and I favor one over the other because of a Broncos Super Bowl Championship. The Manning brothers, Eli and Peyton, are great accomplished quarterbacks. Especially Peyton, yes because of that championship, but also because that guy would study football, look for ways to improve, and the numbers back all that up. Many know they are great quarterbacks, but some of the younger generation might not know that their father was a professional quarterback. I looked up some of his NFL accomplishments. Archie played 10 seasons with the Saints and 9 of those seasons were losing seasons! His record in the NFL, 35-101-3, is like one of the worst losing records of quarterbacks that have started more than 100 games! You would think if a parent was going to set up their sons for more success and pressure them, it would be Archie Manning. We would thing that he had them playing football before they could walk, training them everyday and playing in every league he could get them in. Wrong! Sure they threw the pig skin; but he even refused to let play tackle football till 7th grade.

The other is a very successful football player despite some questionable character scandals. He is a quarterback, he has a Super Bowl ring for every finger of his throwing hand, 4 time Super Bowl MVP, among a variety of accomplishments, he is either loved or hated in the sports world, Tom Brady. This future Hall of Fame football player and one of the greats; might be hassled and there might be several hundred memes out there especially from the Deflategate scandal, but his ability to throw the ball in the pocket and win games must have been years and years in the making. When do you think he started football? How about 9th grade? Yep, Brady was not allowed to play football till 9th grade and yet he wasn't behind the others. Another thing that Brady was good at was baseball; but his father refused to let him throw a curveball until he was fourteen. Here was a father who sought out the best for his son by protecting his son from injuries as best as possible. It is really hard to disagree with these three quarterbacks; between the three they have 41 NFL records, 9 Super Bowl Rings and 7 MVP’s. They are great examples of athletes who, from today’s standards, started late. Despite being held back from starting when other kids had been playing, these three quarterbacks encourage us as parents to make healthy decisions for our kids. 

We need to be careful with our kids! As a challenging thought to us as parents/coaches, I will close with this convicting statement from the Changing the Game Project website: "The all too common narrative for American youth these days in an adult-driven, hyper-competitive race to the top both in academics and athletics that serve the needs of the adults but rarely the kids.”  

(Coach Em Up by Caz McCaslin)

Please keep a young lady; Chelsey, in prayer tonight, the next week, and into her future. Ill share below to connect the dots.

Tonight was an unusual night; Nathaniel and I got in the car with no destination in mind. After driving around for a little while, I asked Siri for the nearest park. I noticed two playgrounds and picked the latter. After spending a little time there and it was geared towards older kids, I decided to check the other one out. Upon pulling in I noticed people walking, a young family playing whiffle ball and a young lady sitting at a picnic bench. She didn't fit in the picture…I noticed her blue hair, her head was down on the table, and she looked bored or lonely. Maybe she was part of the family playing whiffle ball or waiting for young guy who was practicing frisbee throwing???

Nathaniel and I started playing on the playground. That feeing kicked in; this picture is wrong. “God do you want me to say something?” “If so, I will before we leave if no one does.” I waited the family left, she sat there. The frisbee guy left, she was still there. People walked right past her, said nothing to her. Nathaniel kept playing, I would glance over from time to time; I soon noticed a clear glass bottle. Something was going on in this girl’s life; she looks she needs hope.

Hope! A word that I have been working with today. I had been in an email conversation about setting up some future things and the word I wanted to use wasn't available. The word “hope” was available and it fit in with our church purpose of “Inviting people to find hope in Jesus Christ.” The email came across from my friend “just say the word” and it can be set up. I knew the Holy Spirit was talking with me and I knew I needed to say something.

Nathaniel just kept playing; I tried to get him to go a few times, but he wasn't going to be happy. How can I say something if doesn't want to go? (excuse number 16 that went through my head) I was right he wasn't happy, but I put him in his car seat, I pulled up a youtube favorite, left the door open and took a few steps towards her. I was so glad that I had pulled up to the parking spot beside this picnic bench. I asked her if she was okay, she said yes; but the pain in her eyes said otherwise. I told her that we saw her when we pulled up thinking she was waiting for someone; but then the longer we played at the playground, we couldn't help but to notice that something was wrong. I told her I saw lots of people playing and walking past her; and I couldn't walk past without asking if she was okay. I asked her if was just having a bad day, sort of referring to sitting alone with a bottle beside her. Our conversation from here on tore my heart.

She shared her story; she just got out of rehab and was choosing the bottle over the other substances. She was living in Florida, because she needed to get away from that lifestyle here. She was only back in this area, because her close friend had overdosed and she came back for his funeral. Hurt? Heavy? This young lady is in a dark place and in place that needs hope. I am so glad I didn’t walk past without saying something. I did the best I could; I listened. Let her know I was sorry she was going through something heavy like this. I encouraged her to connect with friends and family. I prayed for her and for this young man’s friends and family. Promised that I would ask my friends to pray for her. As we left, she had thanked me and I saw some hope in her eyes; that for a time she was encouraged that someone would stop and listen and pray and someone cared that she was hurting. 

As we left and drove home, I prayed over her. That she wouldn't do anything to harm herself, that she wouldn't turn to substances, that God would send others followers of Jesus into her life within the next 24 hours, that they would listen to the Holy Spirit and not be afraid to approach her, that He would guard her life and show Himself to her. Now I am asking my family and friends to keep Chelsey in prayer. Pray for this young man’s, Justin, family and friends as they go through the pain of losing him. Pray that Chelsey is drawn to the best hope that is in Jesus.